8 things to avoid doing at a funeral
Following the loss of a loved one, which is a deeply personal ordeal, a funeral service allows friends and family members to fondly remember and pray for the deceased and grieve in their own ways. Moreover, being surrounded by well-wishers during this time can provide those grieving a sense of comfort. So, those attending a funeral need to be sensitive about the situation and conduct themselves appropriately by avoiding the following things:
1. Taking photos or videos
Bidding farewell to a loved one is a devastating process, and taking pictures and videos of the last rites can be highly disrespectful to those grieving. If one would like to take pictures of specific aspects of the funeral service, such as the memorial display, it is important to get prior permission from the family. If the family members do not permit one to take pictures or videos, one should respect their decision and avoid insisting.
2. Laughing at an inappropriate moment
Sometimes, external factors may trigger laughter, even at an event as serious as a funeral. In certain cases, an intentionally amusing anecdote shared by a loved one in their eulogy or speech makes it appropriate to laugh as a gesture of fond remembrance. However, at other times, it may not be appropriate to laugh at a funeral service when the loved ones of the deceased are grieving. The best way to collect oneself in such cases is to step aside quietly for a few minutes and then re-enter the funeral service.
3. Speaking loudly over the phone
A funeral service is supposed to be a quiet affair, and it is important for attendees to follow the decorum. Speaking loudly over the phone can disturb the other attendees and make one seem insensitive. Moreover, it is in everyone’s best interest to remember and pray for the departed soul rather than being distracted on the phone during such times. So, if a phone call has to be answered, one should step outside and take the call or softly ask the caller to call back at a later time.
4. Interrupting a speech or eulogy
Speeches, prayers, eulogies, and goodbyes at a funeral can be difficult to deliver. Interrupting these discourses may come across as curt or insensitive, even if one does not intend it. So, it is best to avoid interrupting a speech, prayer, or eulogy, preferably waiting for the other person to conclude before speaking up.
5. Applauding inappropriately
Sometimes, upon hearing a profound speech or eulogy, the first instinct may be to applaud in appreciation of the speaker. However, it is important to remember that a funeral service may not be the right place to express such emotions vehemently. So, one should applaud only if close friends and family members of the deceased begin applauding. One may approach the speaker and appreciate them for their speech later on.
6. Wearing loud and vibrant clothing
Vibrant clothing is often considered a sign of joy and cheer. A funeral is often not the right place to don such clothing, as it may come across as highly inappropriate. One may instead opt for muted colors, but the best bet is to choose black clothes. Sometimes, funerals may have specific attire themes. In such cases, one should try to dress exactly as per the rules specified to honor the wishes of the deceased’s family.
7. Greeting someone joyously
Funerals may be one of those events where friends, family members, and acquaintances meet each other after a long time. However, greeting each other joyously and loudly might not be the best idea, given the general mood at a funeral. It can come across as insensitive. So, it is best to avoid loud greetings while meeting someone at a funeral service. A nod or quick smile might be a better alternative. One can always catch up with other attendees outside the venue after the service.
8. Arguing or creating a scene
At any gathering, disagreements and differences of opinion are bound to develop. A funeral, however, is not the right place to engage in heated discussions. Even if there is a disagreement and the other person initiates an argument, one should avoid retaliating immediately, choosing to amicably resolve the problem after the service or letting the matter go if it is inconsequential.